/zellig/ - Ongezellig

i was looking on the 'ru and saw these friend books that piss me off so much. here's my spergerald why:
<redditspace
Coco:
>I am good at: I don't want to brag
Bullshit. Have you ever met a humble 8 year old?
>I don't like: Wasting time
I sincerly doubt that any child would be concerned about something as insignificant to them as time
>Animal: Turritopsis Dohrnii
and
>What I want to be when I grow up: Very old
Are incredibly unsubtle in what it's trying to say. <Coco lost her parents! So she's like, le scared of death! So, she'd like thing that live forever and she'd like, wanna live forever!
Change her animal to something more realistic, as with all of the animals in South Africa, I doubt a child would pick something as ugly as a jellyfish. Change what she wants to be to something like a nurse or a vet, which shows she's always liked helping people (which is realistic!!!)
It's really, really on the nose.
Overall with this one: Very on the nose, and doesn't feel like a child wrote this.
<Redditspace
Maya:
>My Hobbies: Using the computer
I highly doubt she would've gotten a computer this young with a mother like Soei.
>My Sports: None
Again, I highly doubt that Maya wouldn't play sports with a mother like Soei.
>I'm not that good at: Paying attention
I doubt that any child would have any concept of "paying attention" or even know that they're bad at it. There are far more things that she could be bad at, but NOPE. Gotta go with the on the nose
<She was always bad at paying attention, which was like, le foreshadowing for le ADHD!
>I really don't like: School
This is really boring. There could've been so many interesting things here that she doesn't like that could've revealed more about her character, but Massa just decided to state the obvious.
>Vacation: Home
Bullshit. Just Bullshit. What child have you ever met that didn't like going on vacation? What child hasn't loved going to an amusement park? An Aquarium? A Zoo?
>My biggest wish: Not having to go to school anymore
I'm positive there are other things she wants more, like her cat.
>What I want to be: I dunno
Genuine, unfiltered, unimaginable bullshit. You cannot excuse something as stupid as this. Have you ever met an 8 year old that didn't want to be an Astronaut? A Racecar Driver? An F1 Driver? A Firefighter? Football Player? Superhero? It is so on the nose with
<Le Maya was never le happy!
Which is bullshit and boring. If Maya used to be happy and full of optimism and whimsy, it makes it far more interesting, and tragic, when she becomes bitter and cynical. Loss of innocence is really upsetting, but I can't feel bad for someone who was apparently never innocent (which is stupid)
Overall: This was trying way too hard to build sympathy for Maya, and it all falls apart when you think about it beyond a surface level. It feels like the expository crashout: It feels deep and insightful, but it's unrealistic, unimpactful, and incredibly shallow. I said it once and I'll say it again: Having Maya lose her innocence and whimsy is far more tragic and saddening than her never having them in the first place
<Redditspace
Mymy:
This will probably start some leakage, but I really don't like Mymy. She doesn't belong in a show as grounded as Ongezellig. She feels like she was taken from another show, and feels more like a gag-machine than an actual character. Massa literally said that she left for the Netherlands when she was 6 by sneaking out of Japan, and that she went there because she "Thought it was better." To me, this shows that Massa threw her in last second without much thought, and made her backstory that because he thought it was "funny" instead of actually trying to come up with an interesting explanation as to how she ended up in the Netherlands like Coco did. She should've honestly been cut from the show (or been relegated to a background character) and had Maya and Coco's relationship be center stage. But NOPE! Can't cut that because it's too funny, am I right? No need to worry that a wacky and zaney character will undercut my original intentions!
Anyway with my second sperg out of the way, it pisses me off that this is the only one that makes sense. It feels like someone who understands nothing about the world wrote it (LIKE A CHILD!!! *GASP* CRAZY!!!!!)
<Redditspace
overall, these friendbooks (and Maya's Sweet 16 in general) are trying way too hard to build sympathy and intrigue, but did in such an on the nose way, it makes the characters feel fake. It doesn't feel like I am reading the friend book of a real child with real thoughts, feelings, and desires. It feels like I'm reading from the script of Amazing Digital Circus with how unsubtle everything is.
<Redditspace
Little rant about Maya's Sweet 16:
This was such a wasted opportunity of a comic. The dream sequence is yet another example of Massa trying to build sympathy without taking the effort to build it naturally. Her dream sequence is practically grabbing you by the neck and screaming in your face YOU MUST FEEL BAD FOR HER! THIS IS SAD! SHE'S CRYING, SEE? DON'T YOU FEEL BAD?! It also jumps into it WAAAAY too quickly, and this is a consequence of the comic being too short.
Her vomiting to avoid celebrating her birthday and going to school also feels like a lazy excuse for Massa to not have to write anything "uncomfortable" that would've actually built sympathy. We could've seen how her self hatred results in her being overwhelmed with shame when show even a shred of gratitude from her sisters. We could've how she freezes up and doesn't know what to do when she's the center of attention. We could see how she's utterly incapable of functioning in a social setting, constantly on the verge of a panic attack if she has to so much as speak to anyone. We could see how she's shaky and anxious throughout the whole day, worried people are judging her for the slightest thing. All these thing stacking on top of each other and building tension, making the reader wonder if she's gonna be able to get through the day without having a meltdown.
But no, instead we just got her throwing up and never getting to see any of that.
What a waste of potential.
<Redditspace
TL;DR Massa is pretty bad at writing