/zellig/ - Ongezellig

Bumo because the site ACKed yesterday

I love that you wrote this Zaryan and please never stop writing if you enjoy it but this is straight ass
I recommend writing stuff in your native language next time and translating that into english, with a view to avoid repetition. There's also no need to write down everything: we (specifically on the zarty) know about who these characters are, how they behave and what their thought process is.

>but this is straight ass
read it with a straight face at first until this part

The fact that it's formatted like one of my uni papers alongside the fact that the prose also reads like a fucking report does not help reinforce that it's a fiktie

One day mayagugu and mymygugu were sitting in the living room playing with their toys. Mayagugu was playing with her wooden abacus toy, and she was mesmerized by the colors and shapes of the beads.
Then mymygugu came to look at the gemmy colors too, at first mayagugu didn't notice her as she was too occupied with the gemmy colors and shapes of the toy. But then mymygugu started messing up the specific arrangement of shapes and colors mayagugu worked so much to prepare, and mayagugu tried to stop her, but mymygugu pushed mayagugu out and seized the toy for herself. Mayagugu went to the corner and cried silently.
When mymygugu eventually got bored of the wooden abacus, she tossed the toy, she crawled around to find her toy rifle. She started bashing it against the floor, and this sound was very annoying for mayagugu, she really disliked the repetitive loud sound of the toy rifle bashing against the floor. She became very irritated and cried some more. Then she slowly crawled back to the wooden abacus toy, which was tossed over by mymygugu.
When mymygugu saw that mayagugu came close, she stopped bashing the floor and instead started to bash mayagugu on the head with her toy rifle. Mayagugu tried to ignore her at first, but then it hurt her head, so she took hold of mymygugu's toy rifle and tossed it away from her hand. Upon seeing her favorite toy taken from her hand and tossed away, mymygugu's eyes watered up and she started crying loudly, even though she did the same to mayagugu just a minute ago, and mayagugu cried only silently.
Upon hearing the loud crying of mymygugu, mom ran to the living room, and saw that mymygugu was crying and mayagugu was looking at her. Mom took mymygugu into her arms and hugged her and calmed her down, and mom got mad at mayagugu for making mymygugu cry, even though mymygugu started it first. Mayagugu's eyes became huge and she started crying so much, but she was unable to explain herself as mom was too busy calming mymygugu down, and she went to the kitchen with her to feed her soopwafels, and mayagugu was left alone in the living room where she cried and cried. She didn't even want to play with the wooden abacus toy anymore. She crawled to her blobfish plushie, hugged it and cried silently until she fell asleep.

>>130983
the saddest story ever told

>>130985
weh

>>130983
that's so unfair. justice for mayagugu

>>130983
saddest story possible in the whole entire world and observable universe
>>130988
tsmt.

>>130983
I am not reading this kys

>>130990
when you grow up and have children of your own, you might be unable to relate to your kid's emotional growth because you missed out on the gemmy educational agugu story back in 2026

>>130953
Thank you for the criticism. English is my first language, so most likely it’s my ‘tism that’s causing the many sorts of errors and repetition within the story.

>>130972
GEG my bad. I’ve mainly written just reports since I’m in engineering school, so I accidentally written it like that. Will try to avoid that next time.

>>130998
falsenuke, cause he will have 8 Aryan kids

>>130939
bro if you want to get gooder at writing you should read more. I would reccomend reading books of the genre you want to write

this is kind of funny, I enjoyed it but probably not in the way you wanted

>>131004
Thanks for the suggestion. I personally just decided to write this ‘cause I was pretty bored that day.
>>131005
No problem. I personally don’t care how you enjoyed it, just glad you enjoyed my random story

>>130939
is this satire?

>>131024
No, but I understand if you thought it that way since my ‘fic’s pretty coal

>>131026
how is
>“Goodbye cruel life. Father God, *sniff* please forgive me.”
not satire

>>131027
Funnily enough, even that is still better than most of what’s on ao3

>>131027
Oof, that wasn’t meant to be satirical, but it was a poor choice of wording. Sincere apologies if you thought it to be that way.

>>131029
no i find it hilarious actually

After rereading like three times already, everything is so unintentionally funny, it keeps sending me
>>"We promise that will never happen again," said Ravi. "We will be a functional and happy family again."
Nigga's treating his daughter's life like a Q2 report. Unironic unintended gemeralnd

>>131031
We Ravicacas report our families like quarterly reports geg

THESE BITCHES STUFFED NOGA NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

>>130939
I enjoyed the story. It was clear, and stuck to the premise, but due to its shortness it lacked some depth in which you could have built some characterization, and I wish it was a little bit longer, and I really enjoyed the part where Maya becomes friends with Yfke. It also stuck to the lore pretty well, except for there being a rod in Maya's room, which I can't find any rods in her room, but I understand why it was there, plus Massa has a habit of changing their room layouts. You also have great punctuation.

but in conclusion. I enjoyed it. And I hope you write more fan-fiction in the future

>>131072
Thanks for the response. I definitely agree that I should’ve improved the length of the story. Also, I wrote rod because I was trying to describe the object that holds every coat hanger in a closet (assuming that Maya has a closet in her room). I’m really glad you enjoyed it

>>131079
I don't think she has a closet in her room, cause Dutch houses are "small" and a closet seems too big for Maya's room, but I think she has a dresser (appears in deel 6).
(I was trying to add a photo here, but it seems either, it isn't here or I just forgot)

>>131086
I think this is the best view we have of Maya’s wardrobe.

>>131087
She really has to clean up her room

>>130939
no fucking way did you get this off ‘tok

a while ago i introduced a former irl friend of mine to zellig and it’s lore. xhe enjoyed it so much she posted some art and a possible idea for a fanfic (which was actually later turned into a comic by carhy) unfortunately that pooner bitch ditched me because of my association with the soy side of ongezellig
>xaar we don’t care about your retarded tranny friend
it’s just a rather neat coincidence o algo

>>131104
Mainly got it off Cathy’s comic, but that in of itself was inspired by your friend’s idea. I was just wanting to finish the comic because I hated how it ended.

>>131106
stop

>>131107
geg what was it

>>130939
Hi zaryans. Just officially created an ao3 account where I’m publishing my story on. Won’t get an invite ‘till May 13 doe

>>131815
it's gonna be so gemmy. i was a hater then i read your work like three times over and it's genuinely funny in a 'tonal whiplash as dry comedy' sense. you need work but for now you need to read some books my zister

this sucks pretty much entirely but one tip, when you write an alternating conversation you don't have to keep saying who's speaking. you also put each quote on a new line.

>>131828
I thought that was known, brevity is a writer's wit

>>131833
tell that to that other zaryan that's writing an illiad about snca

>>131815
Officially published: https://archiveofourown.org/works/84787736/chapters/223766286

>>132378
>involving her dead cat
>xisters gift her something else
Oh it's going to involve another dead pet isn't it

>>132378
>maya kills herself
its funnier when the 6th gorillionth 'fic does it

>>132425
Reddit gold for the kind stranger who writes another Maya kills herself "fic"