No.21207[Last 50 Posts]
I have problem with being lonely and I discovered radicalized groups to fill that void. I dont interact with people because of my trauma bring ignored and strict parenting, I grew up with internet and my parents didnt care about me, they just gave me other things but not being loved.My parents are divorced so i live with my mom. As time passed(I am 18 in college) I felt more social isolation, I didnt have friends in school before and it was small interactions because I thought they are too normie and boring. After school I went to college and its my first year of college, and I just feel lonely and I think nobody understands me and my mental problems. I tried to fill that void with being interested in radical groups and my mental health went down further making me more emotional and anrgy that when I went outside I just avoided any interactions or eye contact - only hate, but after being dissapointed in these groups I completely went on nihilistic mode. I started being apathetic and now its harder for me to do something because I simply dont care, even my assignment I started procrastinating and passing in at the day of deadline and playing games or doing nothing every day. Can someone give me and advice or words how to handle this situation (Sorry for My ESL english, I came to america 3 years ago aka at 2022 from post soviet country. And yes, I am not slavic, I try to assimilate but it sometimes hard when You remember you past times being in my post soviet country, also I forgot to mention I have OCD since covid and my hands sometimes be fucked up because i extensivly wash them with soap, so I use hand cream/lotion. I am also very shy, 172 cm and skinny cause I dont eat a lot)
No.21208
just don't troon out and everything will be fine
No.21209
>>21208Yeah I grown insecure asf so I am eveb insecure about my orientation too
No.21211
>>21209people like you are primary target for groomers who will offer you an illusion of acceptance and community initially, so if you really need to interact with radicalized groups, try to find people who will groom you into not watching porn, eating healthy and working out instead of grooming you into taking hormones and mutilating your body
No.21212
>>21211Ehh I am not into lgbt shit, if anything I am on black magik SS culture larp with rituals, but thats to fill the void
No.21214
>>21211Grooming me into trans or lgbt community is really hard because I hate even if I feel nihilistic
No.21215
as for procrastination which is the most immediate problem I think (if you stop procrastinating, you will start doing things that will unfuck your life eventually), I don't have links nearby now, but it's mostly caused by untrue perception of how difficult and unpleasant the task you need to do is, then you stress out with the vision of doing it, and then you get even more stressed out with what happens if you don't do it, so a good start would be to when you have an assignment try to judge accurately how much work it will be and how much time it will take, and maybe divide into smaller tasks. also never listen to music or try to multitask with shitposting or scrolling when doing something unpleasant, just focus at the task at hand
No.21217
Funny, I discovered radical groups because I'm dissatisfied with the political system, not cause there's anything wrong with me
No.21218
>>21217I enjoy some radical groups, they're fun, interesting, and nice to get info on.
also which country? saying Soviet Doesn't cut for me, cause there are a lot of ex-Soviet nations that aren't Slavic (and I know Slavic nations that don't have slavic peoples), so I want to know.
No.21220
>>21219reddit spacing geg
No.21222
>>21218I listed above non slavic country(caucasia)
No.21224
>>21222So Georgia, Azerbaijan, and Armenia. so which one?
No.21225
. I dont know how to socialize and how to start. I spent time reading philosophies, idead(Evola, Mishima and others) and sometimes it chills me and give meaning for live, or doing some shitposting. In my culture they taught me to supress emotions if you are "man", I dont even know If I like girls or men, before I liked girls but now I just dont know Who I am or do I like girls or males (I dont like LGBTQ and other inclusive ahit if you are interested). I also grew up very insecure person, I cant just start socializing because I eould think this person would find me annoying (I tried once and heard thme saying "he is so annoying", probably because I was too talkative to them idk, it happened at high school In america) . My insecurity grew up too, I cant even trust a person To feel secure I need to fully control them and know their background because I am obsessed aith purity(Extremist ideology and philosophy affected too) I want to refill the void in my soul, But I feel insecure to do some steps
No.21227
Sometimes I just really wanna cry long, but nobody understand my feelings or misinterprate so its just turns into Hate, and hatred only because Hate warms me, but when I starting memoring my real personality I get really emotional and might cry loud
No.21233
>>21227So yeah my mental health is fucked up and feel like its declining by internet
No.21234
>>21232geg, shitskin, all turkic people are brown.
(this is bait BTW)
{even&doe they're lighter than blacks & pajeets}
I don't know why I wrote this No.21237
>>21235Yeah cause Nobody understands me
No.21240
>>21218>and I know Slavic nations that don't have slavic peoplesBulgarians?
No.21243
>>21235Yeah zaryan we have hard times here eh
No.21250
>>21240Serbia has hungarians, Romanians, and albanians
Slovakia has hungarians.
Poland has germans.
Bulgaria is Bulgaria and has turks.
Russian has Tatars, Chechens, Bashkir, Chuvashs, Avars, Armenians, Dargins, Kazakhs, Kumyks, Kabardins, Ingush, Lezgins, Ossetians, Yakuts, Azerbaijanis, Buryats, Mari, Udmurts,Tajiks, Uzbeks, Tuvans, Crimean Tatars, Karachays, Germans, Kalmyks, Laks, Roma, Tabasarans, Komi, Kyrgyz, Balkars, Turks, Cherkess / Circassians, Georgians, Adyghe, Mokshas, Eryas, Nogais, Koreans, Altay, Jews, Romanians(Moldovans), Khakas, Greeks, Nenets, Abazas, Turkmens, Evenks, Aghuls, Rutuls, Karelians, Khanty, Yazidis, Kurds, Polish, Evens, Chinese, Arabs Chukchi, Lithuanians, Tsakhurs, Mansi, Bulgarians, Nanais, Shors, Gagauz, Latvians, Abkhaz, Dolgans, Finnish, Vietnamese, Estonians, Indians, Koryaks, Nağaybäk, Veps, Assyrians, Soyots, Meskhetian, Nivkh, Talysh, Afghans, Selkups, Dungans, Itelmeni, Udis, Ulchs, Persians, Kumandins, Teleuts, Uygurs, Hemshins, Besermyan, Shapsugs, Yukaghir Inuit /Yupik, Kamchadals, Sami, Hungarians, Udege, Mongols, Ket, Krymchaks, Chuvans, Karakalpaks, Izhorians, Tofalar, Cubans, Nganasans, Japanese, Rusyns, Tats, Orochs, Karaites, Negidals, Pamiris, Pakistani, Aleut, Chulyms, Oroks, Enets, Swedes, Votes, and Kereks.
No.21253
Its really tucked up my mental health tho
No.21256
>>21215Yeah but I fan easily be exhausted if I do some task so for that Mostly ude AI cause I dont wanna fuck with assignments + mental health baggage which do not leaves my mind
No.21260
>>21207 To some degree it reminds me of myself in the past. First it's big pride (egoism), then despair logically follows. I dragged along the floor until I found Orthodox Christianity, then a gradual healing began. That's my experience. I hope you'll flourish, bless you zaryan
No.21265
>>21264 this is why ywnba normal person, jsid already what is this nonsense
No.21266
>>21265what does this mean.
No.21268
>>21265I just want to be loved nigga
No.21271
>>21270Nigger stop pretending to be an OP
No.21272
>>21269Thanks but yeah Lots of retards and self hate causing decline of mental health and I feel like every time its worse than previous
No.21276
>>21274"shit nobody cares about kill yourself award" makes zero sense
No.21277
>>21276Nigger nobody cares what you babble here, bait in another place fucking moron
No.21278
>>21207For the hand washing stuff, you should try some different soaps, or use hot water less often. I also wash my hands too often and a couple years ago it got to the point my wrists were always red and dry. I used to use cheap soap and hot water, but I switched to nicer hydrating/moisturizing soap and use cold water half the time, which helped massively. Obviously this is a relatively small thing, but maybe it could help a bit.
The only other thing I would say is shit you’ve heard before, but being in nature helps me deal with some of these feelings. Making a list of your local state/national parks or forests and visiting them is something you can do by yourself, requires minimal interaction with anyone, and helps you put some things in perspective and appreciate the things around you that are real, beautiful, and good.
No.21279
>>21278I do, I have physiatrist who gave me some doze of pills to lower my OCD(I dont use them right now, but before the pill I cleaned everything in my room, now I just simply dont care because I am lazy) I use specialized soap, but cant get off the hot water, even when I try warm water but in practice its actually hot too. I think my OCD and other factors fucked up my mental health
No.21280
>>21278I think going outside would help, But I am too depended on internet, its like a drug
No.21284
>>21268 you can't be loved if you think of others lowly, also I may have flipped out unreasonably with the occult symbol trash, my bad I have to say
No.21285
>>21284Yeah sure when people are agressive towards me for no reason or ignore me, cant answer simple question normally
No.21355
Its hard sometimes
No.21358
>>21225NIGGAS GAY GEEEEG JUST SHUT IT DOWN
i understand doe i relate to a lot of this
No.21362
>>21358Not the gay in faggot way tho
No.21364
>>21356This is the solution to almost all problems a man can face
Also OP don't write people off for being "normies", humans are social creatures not political creatures. You don't need someone to talk about da jooos to, you need someone to share company and laugh with.
No.21366
>>21364they are boring for me and give some sort of sadness
No.21368
>>21367Yeah nigger idk I just feel very lost, going outside advice is good but I overthink stuff + college programming and retarded professor(they also saying shit that makes me overthink) Sometimes I just dont like discovering something new because it makes me miserable because of my insecurity
No.21369
>>21368meds?
I don't how to fix overthinking (cuz I'm dumb), but if you solve that (it's very hard, I know cuz I obsess over something that doesn't matter[not Ongezellig cuz that mattes]) maybe you need a break or a little bit of free time off the net? and also what makes you miserable about discovering something? (makes you smarter doesn't it?*)
(*"smart people, and people who go to college can be idiots")
No.21370
>>21369My mom, my professors are retarded. My mom says "you need to work" evendoe I am very shy and I am scared of new stuff. " and also what makes you miserable about discovering something?" No, it feels like I am dumb enough and not competent enough(especially in computer related stuff, programming included. I make setups in my head and sometimes idealize it, live on my own bubble to not harm my ego or idk
No.21372
>>21371ehh its just website developments, SNCA assignment, but yeah I dont like interacting with people
No.21376
>>21373Idk just assignments, butd its not my main problem doe
No.21380
I am doing for multiple languages. C#, SQL(original one) and other shit I dont remember. I starting to hate normie Niggers because they are morons
No.21383
>>21381No, in my calss there is programmer but they are lefties. I am not gonna argue with them because liberals are complete retards.
No.21384
Also normie nerds are hypocrite nigger, they smile at your face but secretly dont like you
No.21386
>>21384nobody has ever done that here, that is a trait exclusive to normies, most assuredly
No.21392
>>21386Non normies can be hypocrite too btw, but most time I encountered hypocrisy from normies
No.21396
>>21392Normies tend to be hypocrite because they're too conformist and they don't care what is right but what is socially acceptable.
No.21415
>>21396Yeah, but anyways idk what to do
No.21711
>>21383>>21384>>21264nigga you're lonely because you're a cringe retard
No.21753
>>21711How am I cringe?I try to cope with myself
No.21816
>>21753the edgy pinterest tranime stuff is probably the most revolting part about you. that, and the conflating being a detached unlikeable loser with being too intellectual for le normies that you obviously envy because you want to be with them so bad. pure copium. you're just so spiritually indian i guess.
No.21821
>>21212okay so you're a O9A/764 pedonigger shitskin?
No.21827
>>21821 he's probably the canadajeet. regardless, what he's doing to himself is horrendous.
the reason I backed down on his occult trash is because he's not doing harm to anyone but his sorry self. insane work
No.21829
>>21821How does 764 and KNA make connection nigger?What the matter of my color if you are nigger by yourself thats projecting (I am not shitskin btw)
No.21830
>>21816>Pinterest is le bad because I said so and you are ranjeetAbsolute retard, I can assume you are baiting
No.21831
>>21827What the matter nigger I am not even rajeesh stop projecting, I just want to talk why people are such retards, I am not pseudo intellectual because I do not call myself an intellectual, you are just a midwit who thinks he is smart or something
No.21832
>>21816>"SAAAR TRANIME IS BAD SAAR"Geg
No.21833
Why people like you instead of being supportive are such an assholes. Disgusting that Why I start to hate people more
No.21834
>>21833My mom is narcissistic nigger, my professors are midwit. I hate everyone at this point
No.21836
>>21834I try my best to improve myself but the environment is toxic and my mental health is going down, I fucking cant. I feel like everyone around me IRL hypocritical assholes
No.21838
When people try to point me that I AM problem they need to shut the fuck up and kill themselves, They dont understand the feelings or problem, I always ignorant faggots
No.21839
>>21838If you constantly outsorce problem on the outside then youre gonna be comfortable in your misery with no possiblity of change, since if you believe that everyone is problem but not you you will start to believe that you don't have to change anything to fix your life
No.21840
>>21827>Occult trashSo christianity and other Abrahamic religions. I dont know how you made connection with 764 and ONA evendoe they dont have connection at all
No.21841
>>21839My mind is confused, I dont know what I want and it make my mind worse because of people around me who confuse it more
No.21842
If I knew what I am doing I would solve my problems, I am in constant mental pain and overthinking(OCD+germaphobia)
No.21843
Its not that easy for me, maybe its my problem but once you start to discover philosophy(and yes I am not a pseudo intellectual) you see world differently
No.21846
I fucking hate my chud life, If its not gonna change its possible that I am gonna do something fucked up, it hurts my brain to interact with people irl knowing that they are hypocrite faggots
No.21847
>>21846>>21816> that you obviously envy because you want to be with them so badNo I dont nigger, I despise the. I wanna find my own people, its not indian mentality, indian mentality is about BP