I have problem with being lonely and I discovered radicalized groups to fill that void. I dont interact with people because of my trauma bring ignored and strict parenting, I grew up with internet and my parents didnt care about me, they just gave me other

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File: 1762257165520.png (38.1 KB, 1416x1375, 1757857308694.png)

Help Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 11:52:46 No.21207

I have problem with being lonely and I discovered radicalized groups to fill that void. I dont interact with people because of my trauma bring ignored and strict parenting, I grew up with internet and my parents didnt care about me, they just gave me other things but not being loved.My parents are divorced so i live with my mom. As time passed(I am 18 in college) I felt more social isolation, I didnt have friends in school before and it was small interactions because I thought they are too normie and boring. After school I went to college and its my first year of college, and I just feel lonely and I think nobody understands me and my mental problems. I tried to fill that void with being interested in radical groups and my mental health went down further making me more emotional and anrgy that when I went outside I just avoided any interactions or eye contact - only hate, but after being dissapointed in these groups I completely went on nihilistic mode. I started being apathetic and now its harder for me to do something because I simply dont care, even my assignment I started procrastinating and passing in at the day of deadline and playing games or doing nothing every day. Can someone give me and advice or words how to handle this situation (Sorry for My ESL english, I came to america 3 years ago aka at 2022 from post soviet country. And yes, I am not slavic, I try to assimilate but it sometimes hard when You remember you past times being in my post soviet country, also I forgot to mention I have OCD since covid and my hands sometimes be fucked up because i extensivly wash them with soap, so I use hand cream/lotion. I am also very shy, 172 cm and skinny cause I dont eat a lot)

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 11:54:10 No.21208

just don't troon out and everything will be fine

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 11:56:18 No.21209

>>21208
Yeah I grown insecure asf so I am eveb insecure about my orientation too

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:00:35 No.21211

>>21209
people like you are primary target for groomers who will offer you an illusion of acceptance and community initially, so if you really need to interact with radicalized groups, try to find people who will groom you into not watching porn, eating healthy and working out instead of grooming you into taking hormones and mutilating your body

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:05:42 No.21212

>>21211
Ehh I am not into lgbt shit, if anything I am on black magik SS culture larp with rituals, but thats to fill the void

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:06:38 No.21214

>>21211
Grooming me into trans or lgbt community is really hard because I hate even if I feel nihilistic

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:08:41 No.21215

as for procrastination which is the most immediate problem I think (if you stop procrastinating, you will start doing things that will unfuck your life eventually), I don't have links nearby now, but it's mostly caused by untrue perception of how difficult and unpleasant the task you need to do is, then you stress out with the vision of doing it, and then you get even more stressed out with what happens if you don't do it, so a good start would be to when you have an assignment try to judge accurately how much work it will be and how much time it will take, and maybe divide into smaller tasks. also never listen to music or try to multitask with shitposting or scrolling when doing something unpleasant, just focus at the task at hand

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:08:45 No.21216

>>21207
Maya reference?

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:09:17 No.21217

Funny, I discovered radical groups because I'm dissatisfied with the political system, not cause there's anything wrong with me

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:14:35 No.21218

>>21217
I enjoy some radical groups, they're fun, interesting, and nice to get info on.
also which country? saying Soviet Doesn't cut for me, cause there are a lot of ex-Soviet nations that aren't Slavic (and I know Slavic nations that don't have slavic peoples), so I want to know.

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:15:23 No.21219

>>21211
>>21215

tsmt

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:18:45 No.21220

>>21219
reddit spacing geg

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:41:11 No.21221

>>21220
SNCA

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:41:35 No.21222

>>21218
I listed above non slavic country(caucasia)

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:42:57 No.21223

File: 1762260177056.jpg (86.89 KB, 736x1040, 1762243378082b.jpg)

Its really hard to explain my problem because its deep and half of people dont understand it (unless he rerad some philosophy books) and I feel so lonely

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:43:06 No.21224

>>21222
So Georgia, Azerbaijan, and Armenia. so which one?

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:43:33 No.21225

. I dont know how to socialize and how to start. I spent time reading philosophies, idead(Evola, Mishima and others) and sometimes it chills me and give meaning for live, or doing some shitposting. In my culture they taught me to supress emotions if you are "man", I dont even know If I like girls or men, before I liked girls but now I just dont know Who I am or do I like girls or males (I dont like LGBTQ and other inclusive ahit if you are interested). I also grew up very insecure person, I cant just start socializing because I eould think this person would find me annoying (I tried once and heard thme saying "he is so annoying", probably because I was too talkative to them idk, it happened at high school In america) . My insecurity grew up too, I cant even trust a person To feel secure I need to fully control them and know their background because I am obsessed aith purity(Extremist ideology and philosophy affected too) I want to refill the void in my soul, But I feel insecure to do some steps

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:43:48 No.21226

>>21224
Second xir

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:44:27 No.21227

Sometimes I just really wanna cry long, but nobody understand my feelings or misinterprate so its just turns into Hate, and hatred only because Hate warms me, but when I starting memoring my real personality I get really emotional and might cry loud

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:46:18 No.21230

File: 1762260378697.gif (27.33 KB, 220x225, sigkwngd.gif)

>>21226
Azerbaijan

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:48:55 No.21232

File: 1762260535154.jpg (105.72 KB, 736x736, 1762236088338d.jpg)

>>21230
Xir I am whit or something

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:50:53 No.21233

>>21227
So yeah my mental health is fucked up and feel like its declining by internet

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 12:55:02 No.21234

File: 1762260902317.png (423.88 KB, 1280x717, Turkic_Languages_map.png)

>>21232
geg, shitskin, all turkic people are brown.
(this is bait BTW)
{even&doe they're lighter than blacks & pajeets}
I don't know why I wrote this

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 13:05:16 No.21235

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>>21227
i kinda feel like this or something

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 13:05:55 No.21236

>>21234
Racebait+kys

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 13:06:47 No.21237

>>21235
Yeah cause Nobody understands me

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 13:11:25 No.21239

File: 1762261884869.jpg (162.46 KB, 736x1073, ef80e6390c7290c98017cd9a7e….jpg)

People are always retarded, then they wonder why I am angry at them

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 13:14:22 No.21240

>>21218
>and I know Slavic nations that don't have slavic peoples
Bulgarians?

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 13:21:01 No.21243

>>21235
Yeah zaryan we have hard times here eh

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 13:55:33 No.21250

>>21240
Serbia has hungarians, Romanians, and albanians
Slovakia has hungarians.
Poland has germans.
Bulgaria is Bulgaria and has turks.
Russian has Tatars, Chechens, Bashkir, Chuvashs, Avars, Armenians, Dargins, Kazakhs, Kumyks, Kabardins, Ingush, Lezgins, Ossetians, Yakuts, Azerbaijanis, Buryats, Mari, Udmurts,Tajiks, Uzbeks, Tuvans, Crimean Tatars, Karachays, Germans, Kalmyks, Laks, Roma, Tabasarans, Komi, Kyrgyz, Balkars, Turks, Cherkess / Circassians, Georgians, Adyghe, Mokshas, Eryas, Nogais, Koreans, Altay, Jews, Romanians(Moldovans), Khakas, Greeks, Nenets, Abazas, Turkmens, Evenks, Aghuls, Rutuls, Karelians, Khanty, Yazidis, Kurds, Polish, Evens, Chinese, Arabs Chukchi, Lithuanians, Tsakhurs, Mansi, Bulgarians, Nanais, Shors, Gagauz, Latvians, Abkhaz, Dolgans, Finnish, Vietnamese, Estonians, Indians, Koryaks, Nağaybäk, Veps, Assyrians, Soyots, Meskhetian, Nivkh, Talysh, Afghans, Selkups, Dungans, Itelmeni, Udis, Ulchs, Persians, Kumandins, Teleuts, Uygurs, Hemshins, Besermyan, Shapsugs, Yukaghir Inuit /Yupik, Kamchadals, Sami, Hungarians, Udege, Mongols, Ket, Krymchaks, Chuvans, Karakalpaks, Izhorians, Tofalar, Cubans, Nganasans, Japanese, Rusyns, Tats, Orochs, Karaites, Negidals, Pamiris, Pakistani, Aleut, Chulyms, Oroks, Enets, Swedes, Votes, and Kereks.

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 13:58:06 No.21251

File: 1762264685980.png (295.62 KB, 914x903, 1742766999857.png)

i cry silently everyday and no one notices just like mayagugu

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 14:02:24 No.21252

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>>21251
isn't Mayagugu looked after Ravi?

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 14:06:15 No.21253

Its really tucked up my mental health tho

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 14:16:57 No.21254

>>21252
gemmy ravi

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 14:33:59 No.21256

>>21215
Yeah but I fan easily be exhausted if I do some task so for that Mostly ude AI cause I dont wanna fuck with assignments + mental health baggage which do not leaves my mind

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 15:09:38 No.21259

File: 1762268977780.png (86.62 KB, 1458x992, Agugu.png)

>>21251
agugu in the thread!!!

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 15:22:58 No.21260

>>21207 To some degree it reminds me of myself in the past. First it's big pride (egoism), then despair logically follows. I dragged along the floor until I found Orthodox Christianity, then a gradual healing began. That's my experience. I hope you'll flourish, bless you zaryan

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 15:53:37 No.21264

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>>21260
Yeah, some people are too plain and simple to understand my deep struggle, mostly it tied with philosophy too, so yes its pretty hard especially when you meet retards

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 18:01:30 No.21265

>>21264 this is why ywnba normal person, jsid already what is this nonsense

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 18:11:21 No.21266

>>21265
what does this mean.

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 18:12:11 No.21267

>>21251
>>21252
gem

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 18:14:03 No.21268

>>21265
I just want to be loved nigga

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 18:15:40 No.21269

>>21268
I love you

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 18:18:31 No.21270

>>21269
TMST

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 18:22:55 No.21271

>>21270
Nigger stop pretending to be an OP

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 18:24:31 No.21272

>>21269
Thanks but yeah Lots of retards and self hate causing decline of mental health and I feel like every time its worse than previous

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 18:25:35 No.21273

>>21271
ESL Award

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 18:29:17 No.21274

>>21273
SNCA kys award

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 19:02:47 No.21275

>>21270
>this much so this

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 19:03:21 No.21276

>>21274
"shit nobody cares about kill yourself award" makes zero sense

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 19:06:40 No.21277

>>21276
Nigger nobody cares what you babble here, bait in another place fucking moron

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 19:27:39 No.21278

>>21207
For the hand washing stuff, you should try some different soaps, or use hot water less often. I also wash my hands too often and a couple years ago it got to the point my wrists were always red and dry. I used to use cheap soap and hot water, but I switched to nicer hydrating/moisturizing soap and use cold water half the time, which helped massively. Obviously this is a relatively small thing, but maybe it could help a bit.
The only other thing I would say is shit you’ve heard before, but being in nature helps me deal with some of these feelings. Making a list of your local state/national parks or forests and visiting them is something you can do by yourself, requires minimal interaction with anyone, and helps you put some things in perspective and appreciate the things around you that are real, beautiful, and good.

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 20:09:47 No.21279

>>21278
I do, I have physiatrist who gave me some doze of pills to lower my OCD(I dont use them right now, but before the pill I cleaned everything in my room, now I just simply dont care because I am lazy) I use specialized soap, but cant get off the hot water, even when I try warm water but in practice its actually hot too. I think my OCD and other factors fucked up my mental health

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 20:11:39 No.21280

>>21278
I think going outside would help, But I am too depended on internet, its like a drug

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 21:33:58 No.21284

>>21268 you can't be loved if you think of others lowly, also I may have flipped out unreasonably with the occult symbol trash, my bad I have to say

Zaryan 11/04/25 (Tue) 21:51:17 No.21285

>>21284
Yeah sure when people are agressive towards me for no reason or ignore me, cant answer simple question normally