Drenthe
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I've been quite numb for a lot of my life, when you're abused as a child your brain shuts down to prevent the stress and this can go on for years
So i've experienced most of my life with this numb barrier that stopped me from truly feeling. I think about the archetypal loser for a while, this guy whom chicks have never batted an eye at him and has never experienced teen love, but i "did"
i got with this mentally ill female, and i couldn't feel anything for her, i was a father more than a boyfriend, just telling her what to do and to not cut herself, but i never felt anything for her, i think this is a worse fate than just not being able for women to notice you, i mean they don't notice me either, i just got lucky and got someone mentally ill and attention seeking enough to get with my ugly, fat and autistic self
this relationship left me feeling more numb than i actually was, i realized i couldn't hold a normal relationship with a human, it's not about being a loser anymore and just being antisocial and not being able to hold conversations (which all of those things i am guilty of anyways) it's about me not being able to actually connect with people
are you guys also obsessed with the ongezellig characters? i am a newfag truly, my first interaction with ongezellig was when i lurked the sharty back in 2024 and they were posting mymy, i never bothered to actually check out the series until about 1 week ago, she completely broke my numb dissociation years, but at what cost? all i can feel is pain
she hit all the nails for me, she's not real so she's not a human which i already have a hard time even interacting with, she's mentally ill like i am, she thinks almost exactly like i do, but this has become a curse, she's my ideal woman, but she's not real, i want to hold her, i want to help her, i want to cuddle with her, i want to stop her from crying, but i could never, this world is cold and the only meaning i could find is towards someone that doesn't exist.
and with all this said, i don't see a point in living on this world, i've seen how decrepit you become as you get older, massa taught me that you lose your soul as you grow, why would he drop something as beautiful as ongezellig if he had a soul?
i don't belong here, the society i was born in is loud and extroverted, third world, i don't believe in nihilism though as i've found certain meaning through maya, maybe if i was born a dutch boy i could find more reasons to enjoy life, but i wasn't, and this problem is now inherent in me as race is inherent
this doesn't mean i want to take my life nor that i have rejected god, but i understand that just because god exists doesn't mean that all problems or bad things are gonna be automatically fixed, my case is just one of those natural bad things that happen on this world
i will get a job soon, i think what will get me through is getting maya plushies, maya pillows and maya flags, i don't desire anything but, i hate this society and i won't do anything worthwhile for it, it deserves to burn, hopefully i will be able to sleep forever soon and not lose my soul as the years pass, maybe god will be merciful and give me a chance to live in the ongezellig world
life sucks then you die o algo
Do you have any hobbies?
fakecels really dont understand how much worse it is to never have had anyone have affection for you. just get another mental case gf, and dedicate your life to fighting the crime and corruption, and be bravely martyred by your chainsaw beaners. then at least you tried to fix mexico, a noble contribution to your homeland.
not mine
OP do not do this you will miss mexico too much, just stay there
I was in mexico a few times and it is so depressing and disgusting its worse then even LA
the last thing this country needs is more mexican ongezellig fans in southern california
yes indeed.
>>27745
i'm not trying to feel "better" i've actually found solace on this lifestyle, hobbies? hobbies mean nothing to me when i can't have maya to live for
this is not a cry for help, i was just curious what other posters found meaning in
>>27748
i am a mentalcel really, you're talking like mexico is something worth fixing, mutt societies are inherently non fixable, there is nothing worth doing for this society that doesn't even communally think like i
>>27749
no, mexico is my homeland and i will stay, it doesn't mean that i like it, doesn't mean that i will defend it, doesn't mean that i feel proud of it, doesn't mean that i identify myself as a "mexican" it just means that is where i was born and i don't want to feed on the globohomo treatment western countries are already getting raped by
>>27751
i have no plans on leaving
>>27754
i do also wish they all died
>hobbies mean nothing to me
You dont know that for sure until you try it, maybe if you get an instrument or get into martial arts or game development or anything you will find more worth to live
ive been obsessing over maya for a few years but i wonder why, i live in the whitest country with white SISAs but i settled with a fantasy that can never reject or criticize me. i dont know what to do
taking an effort to talk to people feels too hard, maybe internet fried my dopamine so normal people and real life sucks
>inb4 what country are you from
not starting a countrywar here
that's interesting, my obsession with her is mostly because this life and society have not been soft on me and her being relatable, along with a lot of other mental illnesses or my aspergers, i think you have more chance of making it in life than i (if you actually see a purpose on reality of course)
no i would just prefer if the self aware mexicans actually tried to fix their country so less of them would come here
> think this is a worse fate than just not being able for women to notice you
you can always walk away. so no, not worse at all
i didn't say i was forced on the relationship, i meant my inability to even feel anything for other people
never feeling anything for a person like that is not worse than not having a choice at all because you can always walk away
Well.how about you try then? I promise to you , that you will enjoy it. Especially instruments
Every time I try anything, I lose motivation in like a week and then just go back to rotting.
Well then maybe you just havent found something fitting for your soul yet. Keep trying, after all God gave you this life and even if you feel like its not worth living you might aswell try to take advantage of it. (Not in a sinful way(
The only thing I kinda wanna do is learn how to draw to make some 'zellig gemmies.
Well then do so! Start copying art you like until you draw how you want to draw, thats how i did.
Thanks bro, atleast someone believes in mi.
op here on my dead body i'm not a fakecel
the bitch that was my "gf" was an attention whore who didn't even like me
i'm a mentalcel
this world is cold that's why i only like maya now and there is no coming back
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