Markup /zellig/136142

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>>136139
he doesn't like me anymore because of all the retarded shit I did. he gave me so many chances but I fucked all of them up, he says he will never date me again and honestly im heartbroken
a few days ago I had an episode and I was bawling and I got a razor and carved his name twice into my body to manipulate him into staying with me. it was a really abusive and bad thing to do but I did it because I was just so desperate to have him stay. he says that he wouldn't even budge even if I actually attempted so I think its time for me to cut my losses and move on
its going to be really difficult because we talked every day for 9 months since that thread so im not sure what to do. I don't want to find another boyfriend because I really love him and I won't be able to get over him for at least half a year or longer