/test/ - test

to what

Pointed p

>>1069
Somethings wrong but I'm fixing

I looked today but I count that as 1

2

That's 3 days now. WAGMI

>>1081
Bros I want to break my streak help me

>>1082
0

>>1083
test

>>1083
1
Bros I'm going to make it this time I know it

zeg

>>1085
2 days. Bros we're making it

>>1098
3 bros I see the light

Test

>>1107
2. I broke my streak 2 days ago but we're going to do it bros
If it wasn't obvious this whole thread is just like a nofap diary on my streak. I picked the word pointer half randomly half with a loose reason. But I do really want to commit to it as I've always known how bad it was for me but I've just never had the willpower. I was ultra EPI'ed and I actually have* the exact image that started it all because it was from a 4chan thread and I emailed a link to the file to myself, of course it's long dead, but I remember it. I was 11 and it was near the start of the COVID lockdowns. I do really think it's messed me up in a number of ways and if I could go back to stop myself I would. If I ever have children I'll make sure they never do my mistakes. But anyways, the reason I made this thread was because I was scrolling through some archives of YouTube channels I've mass downloaded and I came across a video by @denshi on yt which was just a audiobook of the easy peasy method. Something I've known about for years but never bother with. I listened to maybe half of the book and I just kinda lost all interest for porn. I then went 3 weeks without jerking it (mind you I don't think I haven't jerked off for more than 2 weeks since God knows how long ago). I just randomly had a lapse in my judgement and broke that streak so I decided to make this thread as like a way to better keep thread of it. I'll listen to the audiobook again tomorrow and I'll see if that helps again. And I specifically choose this board so the bumps wouldn't be displayed on the main page so I can enjoy my own company or maybe a stray tester once in a while. I hope I'm not out of my place here and this is the most amount of namefagging ill do here. I would rather keep past things to the side and i have no interest in them anymore and some things should be forgotten. I just wamt to be able to get some type of thoughts written down idk. Ive tried to keep like a personal diary but it depresses me that im the only one reading about it. I used to talk to someone online and i sometimes message another person but i wouldnt say im friends with them. I have 2 friends irl but i wouldn't be comfortable with telling them my issues and so on. Ive tried talking to AIs but after maybe the second message i get disgusted with myself and just close the tab. Im just here to talk to myself idk im saying nothing of interest just the words in my head. Anyways anyways i do really think porn has messed me up. Im still like a functioning person and i have a future and everything but i think its just made me more like umm aspie and schizoid type (not self diagnosing but they both perfectly describe me). I was always like that before the porn but i think i just never really matured much in those regards. I can like semi small talk nowadays but i feel uncomfortable with faces and voices and sometimes i dont feel like my heads on my body or whatever idk. Like im not diagnosed with anything because im scared if i go to the doctors or a therapist they will learn the inside of my mind and know me and im particularly scared of them writing down notes on my mind and for them to be stored in some database foe the rest of eternity. So i just dont talk to anyone about my thoughts and i dont plan to for as long as my name's attached to it. Its why i like anonymous imageboards just because i can be myself without having to like fucking mask or whatever. I used to have a very close online friend who i would talk to because i knew i was completely anonymous but hes long gone now. At the time i just misunderstood what our relationship was because i was a fuxking retard whenever it came to social interactions. He was just a very close friend. The type of friend a man is comfortable crying around. I never had anything even close to that before so i thought it was more special than it was in reality idk. But i do really still miss him and im scares ill never have a actual close friend like that again. But i think the experience did mature me a lot and i have learned from it or whatever. I think in some regard if I were to go back in time I might not change the whole porn thing because then I wouldn't be me but at the same time I don't want to be me and the only way to explain it is that my skin literally feels weird on my body and I don't know what on my body is actually me. But I'm even more scared of the idea of me not being me i don't know. I think I'll always love the zarty not because of sunken cost or anything but just because it's actually comfy. I don't look at /zellig/ or /qa/ anymore. I might just open the mainpage and click a image of interest and see that thread and move on. I will always love zoot and I still stand by the fact he's the best admin on basically any site that I've been on. I think Bob and the new guy are always very good and I still hold them in high regard but zoot will always hold a special place in my heart forever. All the jannies are good people as well. At the end of the day I wish them all the best still because they deserve it for keeping the site mostly kino.

>The body was too long.
I don't really feel like I want to post anymore in this thread after this because it would just be kinda awkward idk /test/ is comfy to me and it's quiet just the way I like it. I reminds me of a little interaction I used to have in some little like isolated area near a Forrest. One day I stacked up some stones to make little tower thingy and a few days later I saw someone rebuilt it into a new tower so I rebuilt to back into my own new tower. And a couple days later it was rebuilt again. And we just kept going back and forth for maybe 2 months. Sometimes I would come back to it and see it was untouched so I would leave it and wait for my mystery tower stacking partner. Sometimes I would come back and see new things added to it like more rocks or logs and I would add my own things to it. After like those 2 months I kept coming back to it just to see it still standing how I left it. Untouched. Over time the rocks fell over or maybe they were kicked around by some people but they were never rebuilt. They just slowly decayed until you could never tell there was once a little ritual there. I don't know who that person was and never will. We had our quiet little fun before it was gone just as soon as it came. /Test/ feels the same to me. Quiet and no one is here apart from probably just you reading this right now. And just as quickly as I made this thread I can disappear again. I'm tired of the internet I hate it all. The most interaction I have on it is opening one of 2 4cuck boards. Scrolling page one and opening maybe 2 threads of like news in that topic. Then read half the thread and move on. I don't have any social media or watch YouTube or anything. I've talked in this thread more than probably the past month of total messages outside this thread. Idk why the zarty specifically. Sometimes I do wish I wasnt like a aspie and I could actually talk to people. There's a girl in my school year who I've had a crush on for maybe like 5 years and I've probably talked to her less than 10 times over that time. She's just some quiet introvert that's not even attractive even for foid standards but I just want to make her laugh and cuddle her and make her happy. I'm in the final year of high school so the chance has already passed me idk. I wish I wasn't like scared and it's probably fucking porns fault as well like my true sexual attraction to foids was stunted or some shit. I have uni at least so wagmi. I think one of the weirdest things about looking back on things is that it's not even that I want to be in that place or talk to that person again but I just want to like feel what it was like at the time. Like yea I miss that guy but I think even if I did talk to him again it wouldn't be the same. Like the moments gone and I'll never have it back. And I know I'm still a caca compared to most oldcels here but I miss being a dumb fuck retarded kid idk sometimes I feel like my body and brain don't line up anymore and I feel younger than I am. But idk. Im reading through the steppe by Chekhov now and I think there's a couple similarities which makes me feel more easy about everything. But I remember reading metamorphosis by Kafka and I think that's the closest I've ever gotten to being able to like explain how I feel. Like I feel like I can rip of my skin and the real me is underneath and I mean that in a literal sense my body makes me feel weird about me. It's not even that I see myself as my head or my eyes but it's like a different thing watching me back but I can still know it's me and I know I'm me but I don't feel like me. Again I think porn has caused some of these more issues because I can recognize it's not a normal thing to feel. Writing this all down has just calmed me down and jm not going back to spell check or anything I'm just posting whenever I stop thinking. A part of me says that trying to do nofap is just a cope to make myself think I'm doing something to fix myself but I'm not. Idk. But I do really want to commit to it. I'm not sure how much I want to use this thread anymore doey. Idk. I think I will actually commit this time doey. If anyone has any advice about it or like their experience with nofap plz say I want to know idk. Anyways I've been writing for like an hour so I'm going to go to sleep now. Good night

>>1136
>Near the start of covid
>2019
>11 years old
>11 + 6 = 17
Erm mods?

>>1138
Ummm I'm 18 totally pinky promise i just messed up the date I meant a year before covid

>>1139
Whatever you say caca good luck tho

>>1140
Okay thank you plz no ban. I'm going to sleep now. good night

Mothfag came back

>>1136
>>1137
goodnight mothlegend these posts were nice to read

>>1136
3
I forgot to say but despite being a professional long term gooner I have never once gooned to any of the 3 zellig sisters. It's like a bell curve and at the far end I can really like someone but not want to goon like out of respect. I had a major crush on Tomoko whenever I was like 13 but I could never bring myself to like actually jerk off to hentai of her and I don't ever plan on because it's too degenerate for even me.
>>1142
Trve pQtriots know it's the 1 year anniversary of mothfag
>>>/qa/6363

Who the fuck is le Pointer and why is xe brapping about xis gooning habits

>>1151
/test/ is only for true pQtriots

>>1150
>despite being a professional long term gooner I have never once gooned to any of the 3 zellig sisters. It's like a bell curve and at the far end I can really like someone but not want to goon like out of respect.
i held that kind of respect too, the show and le community is just really special
>>1151
read more ITT

>… I was ultra EPI'd…
The fuck am I reading

>>1137
yes of course you feel this way about your body. Pornography treats the body with so much disrespect, it degenerates its beauty (if you draw you would know how the proportions of the body are perfect, or biologically especially everything is in order). All I can say is that you shouldn't lose hope at all costs and reorient towards good things. Death to pornography, it brought so much misery

>>1150
>I had a major crush on Tomoko whenever I was like 13 but I could never bring myself to like actually jerk off to hentai of her and I don't ever plan on because it's too degenerate for even me.
relatable as shit, i also felt this way about any character i've ever had a real crush on, including tomoko as well.

>>1150
Where’s the professionals have standards poster

>>1150
4. I'm tired bros

I'm tired, Painter

>>1166
remember to keep going for yourself not just for random schizo strangers here

>>1168
I took this to heart and had a lapse in judgement that it doesn't matter what any of you think so now I'm back to 0. That was the longest streak so far so I'm actually making it this time bros

>>1169
>i made you fail
shieet… sorry king

1
>>1170
It's fine. WAGMI

>>1171
2 bros we'll make it

>>1169
>4 days now
bros im feeling good WAGMI

5

>>1177
8.
I feel good bros

>>1185
impressive

>>1185
9
I started actually trying to draw again today and it actually felt kinda good even if I'm completely shit. I feel like the reason I've been able to go so long recently is just from stress from school and shit like that lowering my libido. I always feel tired just physically and mentally and probably sensonal depression or whatever. I'm just tired of everything idk. I hope if I keep going I'll feel better

>>1187
This is just proof nofap is bullshit tbh, your life doesnt suck because you jerk off, you jerk off because your life sucks

>>1188
isn't it a little bit of both?

>>1188
Gooning is a dopamine source that will make you less motivated to improve your life, at best it will be neutral.

every single porn "addict" is a freak weirdo it fucks with your head in ways you can't predict. there is no benefit to jerking off so why risk it. its a total waste of time for a short high at the cost of degrading yourself.

if you cant stop watching porn you have too much free time because really its not like you have a physical addiction, you wont die if you stop jerking off and you wont compulsively do it in public because you're fiending its really just that you're bored. people want to call it an addiction to remove the blame from themselves and have it be something out of their control. you are in control of your life

>>1191
>Porn "addict"
I have never once called myself a addict or said this is a addiction in this whole thread
>it fucks with your head in ways you can't predict. there is no benefit to jerking off so why risk it.
What if you jerk odf without porn? Does you imagination also fuck with your brain?
>if you cant stop watching porn you have too much free time
I'm more than aware but it can still be a bad habit even if it doesn't kill you
>people want to call it an addiction to remove the blame from themselves
Ive never called it a addiction
>you are in control of your life
That's why I haven't for 9 days now
What was the point of this reply?

>>1192
I think he was replying to >>1188, offering some rebuttals for “your life doesn’t suck because you jerk off” and prove masturbation does make life suck more, even if it’s not the sole reason for someone’s life sucking.

>>1193
Oops ignore me then I'm retarded

>>1194
Hi retarded I'm Bill

>>1192
>What if you jerk odf without porn? Does you imagination also fuck with your brain?
I can't see how it would any more than actually having sex. If you don't jerk you just end up having wet dreams anyway

>>1188
tsmt I was an autistic puritan and didn't touch my dick for my first few teen years and I still went through the same disillusionment and depression everyone talks about

>>1197
It's not a silver bullet, but training your will can be beneficial. It won't unfuck your life, but will make it slightly better at zero cost. As >>1191 noticed, there is no benefit to jerking off, you feel good for a second and then you don't.

11. I had urges today as some type of like cope because I did well in a competition you know "you've been going for so long and I did so well today i should treat myself" but I just made myself some chicken and I forgot about it. wagmi
Also bros would a wet dream count as breaking my streak? Because I would still have had lustful thoughts or whatever or is going that pure of nofap stupid?

>>1215
pornography is not a treat, if you think it is itll lead you back eventually
its a drug addiction with 0 benefits

>>1215
>wet dreams breaking streak
that's just silly, the point is about controlling what is voluntary, bodily functions that you have no control over are irrelevant. I don't think they are caused by lustful thoughts doe, rather excess fluid because your body is not yet used to the degree of abstinence yet, but I need to double check for sure.

>>1216
>pornography is not a treat
It's just like a little voice in the back of my head but I didn't listen to it of course
>>1217
Just asking because I used to semi frequent /x/ threads on nofap or even /succgen/ and there was always some type of schizophrenia about wet dreams. Just double checking with people who aren't completely mentally insane.
>the point is about controlling what is voluntary
It's just that it can still be seen as like the mind still wants to coom or whatever so it's not pure yet or whatever. Idk.

>>1218
Wet dreams are normal, don't think too much about it and stop believing redditors and 4troon schizos on what is right or wrong

>>1219
Listening to schizos can be aryan doughie

>>1216
It's not an addiction but smth close tbh

>>1217
in my experience, they were always spontaneous orgasms caused by a sex dream. I don't think sperm overflows; it just gets reabsorbed if you don't release it.